Sister Gabrielle Jordan
In the year 2020, the entire world was turned upside down. We were hit with a pandemic, economic crisis, illuminated social unrest, and quarantine. In all of that, the unseen moments of domestic abuse, suicidal thoughts, major depression, and anxiety were probably at an all-time high. Some would say it was a train wreck of a year.
The other night, I was sitting with Caleb, my three-year old son, writing down things he wanted to do. He really enjoys making daily plans. Examples of his desires would be do a science experiment, go outside, play in his room, and cook with mom. His plans change every day, and sometimes I help him adjust his plans according to what he needs or what must be done at home. Because he is a great planner, I decided to ask him what his goals are for the following year. He already knows what goals are, but of course he has a three-year old’s concept of time.
Our conversation was enlightening for me as his mom. I chose to write as he spoke to me in his own words and he gave me six things that he wanted to do. At the top of his list was this wonderful lesson that really put things into perspective for me. He said, “First, if I fall, I will get up!” As he finished telling me the other five things he wanted to accomplish, I kept thinking about the first thing he said.
In all honesty, I can be hard on myself. Aside from the pandemic, I have been a stay-at-home mom for nearly two years due to my younger son being born at twenty-six weeks and needing to be home due to his fragility. The quarantine was not a new concept for us; however, I have my moments of feeling discouraged because I may not feel like I have been as productive as I should be. Prior to this happening, I was absolutely fulfilled with the work I did. Even on the hard days, I knew what I did was making a difference. With this new way of life, I may not write or check off as many career-oriented goals, and sometimes I just need a shift in perspective. Really, especially this year, my daily lists may only be to show my sons some extra love, or play more, or reach out and be kind to someone, or pray for those who are having challenges. This list may seem simple, yet so necessary.
After my conversation with Caleb, I reflected on 20202 and realized there was a lot of good that took place. As I look back at goals that I wrote for myself in January of 2020, I can place a check by several of them. This does bring me a little glimmer of satisfaction, but not nearly as much as knowing that my family is healthy and full of joy. Or to know that someone is a little less sad because of something I said or did.
As we enter this new year, in the words of Caleb, “If you fall, get up!” Let us be kind to ourselves and be okay with just being okay. The good news is that every new day has new mercies. As written in the Berean Study Bible, Jesus tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough-always available-regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Let us all remember that God’s grace is available and sometimes, it is enough to just rest in that knowledge.
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